Wednesday, February 4, 2015

On your mark, get ready, and go!

I come to write to you this morning at a low point. I leave in less than an hour for Taxol #6 and I'm still feeling #5. This must be what they mean by "accumulative effects". I'm tired. I couldn't exercise this morning. But I want to go and get my dose because I can put up with anything for ONE MORE MONTH and then I'll be through chemo. So praise the Lord I've only a month left! Praise the Lord you are going to pray for me today when you read this! Praise the Lord for my favorite scripture of the week, this time from Denise Hurley: Matt 28:20 "I am always with you". She's in the sisterhood of the People of Praise and a cancer survivor. She is becoming a close friend through her sharing with me during this time. Thank you Jesus. You willingly suffered. I can't get over it.

Let's see. Good things about this week. My dear husband, Walt, got his first break from serving me nonstop. He drove up to take Mary out for her birthday and had some George time. He was gone about a minute when I went to refill my water bottle and couldn't get the cap off. Weakness of the hands is a side effect of chemo and I thought, "Wow, what else am I going to learn about being alone for a day?" Well, it wasn't bad but I've never lived alone and hopefully won't ever. When I sat down to eat my dinner and prayed, "Bless us oh Lord..." I'm just born for household life. What can I say. Sharing bread is life-giving to me. I don't want to eat alone. So, Walt came back refreshed and I was so glad for him. Then, of course, the SuperBowl this year was quite the exciting finish and there was lots of screaming in our tv room. All Walt, but it filled the room. I'm not much on sports. I could appreciate the intensity of the situation, though.

Then a friend from the past, Jill Rolf, sent me a card with a horse on it! Now that's very upbuilding. Someone's reading and taking this stuff in. The horse is now proudly hung in the kitchen and if you don't know what I'm talking about, you'll have to go hit "previous posts". Thanks Jill.

One of my well educated friends, Susan Nelson who we think was in grammar school with me) sent her good thoughts to me as the chemo got more "onerous". I thought that is a really good word. If you can't hit define on this post, a good definition is "oppressively burdensome". Two cancer survivors just said to me, "It's hard, but you'll get through." Amen sisters! I will! Let's get on with it!

Before I leave, I was asked to do an exercise in gratitude this week. I put the timer on for 3 minutes and here's what I got: I am thankful for

  • seeing how easy it is to be loved when I needed it. 
  • learning how God is really there all the time. 
  • Walt and I'm amazed at how well he does my role! 
  • for my daughters: their unique and unrepeatable selves and how they reach out to me. 
  • that I don't have to worry anymore if I'll get cancer. I got it and it's not the end of the world! And, as Walt says, the end of the world will look very different. 
  • Extended family and how they support me. 
  • My friends and loved ones near and far. 
  • To God  who reigns over all things. 
  • all the people who chose to take care of cancer patients for their career!

That's it. Gotta go get loaded with poison to kill this cancer! 


  1. Praying for you here in Colorado Springs! Thanks for your wonderful, honest blog posts. They are blessing many of the women here in the branch, including me.

  2. Your attitude is inspiring Pam. Keep thanking the Lord for all of His blessings. You WILL get through this month! Praise God.

  3. Pam, you are my hero. So many things happening in one day. Thankfulness brings us closer to the Lord. That's what the greek word eucharisteo means. Prayers for you continue daily. Love & hugs from us over the miles. Henry & Norma

  4. Oh, I just love that. You don't have to worry about getting cancer. You got it. :P That's the silver lining. :D

  5. Lots of love and hugs and prayers coming your way!

  6. May you be resting peacefully right now Pam. I talked about you on Monday night at our women's night as a beautiful, breathing, Spirit filled, life filled example of Thess 5:16-18. Love you-

  7. May Christ hold you in the palm of His Hand and hold you close to HIs Heart. He loves you so very much. We are with you in prayer and spirit. Love, Deirdre

  8. Thanks so much dear sisters in Christ. I am understanding the need for sisterhood so much more these days, I think I may watch Steel Magnolias this week and have a good cry!


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.