Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Tomorrow is Taxol #4!

George, Mary, Melanie, Pam and Isa

It’s the night before my next treatment. Every other time I have had a delightful Tuesday almost forgetting the slight side effects that remained in my system. Not so today. I won’t go into detail, but I feel like the chemo is peaking instead of dissipating and it may be my own fault.

I made a decision this weekend to go on a 6-hour trip. Yes, that’s 3 hours each way. Not exactly a big deal in my old life, and it was sitiing in a car without driving the whole time. But my body is not what it was before chemo and I had laryngitis by the time I got to South Bend, and I’ve been sleeping almost steadily since my return. Note to self: No more traveling on chemo.

I am so glad I went to South Bend though. My daughter Mary lives in South Bend and she arranged to have my sister, Laurie, my daughter, Melanie, and my granddaughter, Isa, stay at her house. We had a girl night of talking followed by a pancake breakfast the next morning. We did nails and my head wrap.  100% delightful.

After that, I attended the funeral of an old friend, Chuck Tychsen, age 92. Chuck and his wife Bette were two of the first people we met when we joined the People of Praise. They had a daughter, MarRay, who was killed in a senior trip accident in the 1960’s.  I had three teenagers and a preteen at the time I heard of this, and couldn’t imagine how these people even pretended to smile. But they did. They gave life their all. Generosity, hospitality, and lively debate (about almost anything) were the familiars at the Tychsen’s table. I asked Bette how she was able to move on after her daughter’s death.  She replied that she didn’t.  She had a very hard couple of years, and then the Lord showed her that every day she woke up was one day closer to her reunion with MarRay.  It gave her what she needed to look joyfully into the future.  Now Chuck and Bette are reunited with MarRay and so many more loved ones. There was mourning going on at the funeral, but at the same time it was glorious and a majestic time of celebrating our resurrection.  It was important to be there.  To honor the children.  To say goodbye to Chuck. To remember who we are and where we’re going.  It’s even worth three days of fatigue lying around in bed. But I’m not planning on traveling again until after chemo!

I know some who read this blog don’t believe in eternal life. It must make death and cancer a horrible thing to contemplate! With all due respect and love, I invite you to think about the eternal. Read C.S. Lewis, or the scriptures, or talk to someone you admire who you think has faith. God is love and he knows we are all going to die. He can make it a time of peace. There’s a lot of mystery involved, I know, but if you practice trusting in the Lord on this side of death, you’ll begin to see how he can be trusted for the other side where all sin and evil are gone.

Now I’m tired. I’m not giving up the fight, or planning my own funeral or anything like that yet. (Although I do have a list of my favorite songs in my music ministry bag if the need arises). All the same, when I am healed of breast cancer I will succumb to something. I want you all to be celebrating me at my funeral (electronically if that’s easiest) for I will be very grateful for finishing my race and remaining faith filled.

“16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”  2 Cor 4:16-18  (NIV)


  1. haha. That made me laugh. Which bag is the music ministry one??? ...you know, just in case. <3 We can not lose heart. So true. Love you, mom.

    1. The music bag has the flute case in it and it is always out waiting to go to a prayer meeting.
      : )

  2. I'm praying for your chemo tomorrow and for your healing!

  3. Haha, that music line made me laugh out loud as well! Reminds me of when my mom and I would plan the music for our funerals. God bless your treatment tomorrow! Love that scripture that you included at the end. One of my favorites!

  4. Pam, you are one of the most inspiring and courageous women I know. It continues to build me up to see how much you are trusting in the Lord and learning from him daily. Love you!


  5. I will be praying for you tomorrow. It was so good to see you at Chuck's funeral. Much love!!!

  6. Oh the funeral music list... haha! Nearly gave me a heart attack at the age of 15! :) So glad you have it. It was such a delight to see you and I'm praying the Lord builds you up and gives you grace for the next dose of taxol, that terrible drug! Love and hugs!

  7. Pam dear,

    The whole Tychsen family (and this gal in particular) was so blessed by your presence at my Dad's going into glory celebration--he was so well loved--as you well know my Dad was a character, no doubt about that-he tried to honor the Lord, but struggled with getting old--Pam you were so gentle and kind with him--in his senior years.

    Do you remember when you and Walt had gone away for the weekend in NoVa and I asked for your help on Sunday afternoon as you were returning because I thought my Mom who was then visiting in NoVa had something serious--you came over right away and turns out it was
    pneumonia --you told us what hospital to go to for the best care and you made sure your nursing community took good care of my Mom--forever grateful to you for that...
    Our family loves you big time!! Thank you to dear Bethy for driving you...praying for your generous act of love to pay off with feeling better! XXOOOO

    P.S. BIG NO to to funeral songs---but here is the song I sang when Pam left me in NoVa and moved to Indy..."you picked a fine time to leave me Pam Seale"!!!

    1. LIsa, you have a lot of your Dad in you! Thanks to everyone but being who you are and loving me so well. the infusion is in and I'm on my way to healing.....and bed!

  8. Praying for your health and healing, and that you know of God's wonderful and omnipotent love for you, his daughter! Love, Deirdre


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