|Thanks to Denise and Lois for my head wrap today!|
Here’s the quick note for those who don’t read all the way through. I made some changes yesterday and I feel better this morning than I have in 4 weeks. Thanks for the prayers and thoughts. All good things come from God and he is sending loads of goodness my way.
I would like to clarify that you who hit "like" and make "comments" to me from this blog post or facebook, you are serving me more powerfully than you probably imagine. Thank you for your time. Don't be tempted to say, "Oh it's been a week. What can I add? My life right now is pretty isolating and all I have to do is open my laptop, remind myself that hundreds of people know my predicament and care. Then, I’m fine again. Thank you so much for caring. Thank you for showing your unity with me in this cross.
I’m going to comment on one more thing before my medical update. I want to give thanks for my middle daughter, Bethanne. She is our humorist. While working on adjusting to my bald head this week she said, “Bald is the new blonde. I’m pretty sure.” Bethanne lives in Colorado Springs. She’s not a phone gabber or a high tech person. But the gift of humor she was given leaps the miles in an instant and warms my heart. Geography is nothing when you are good at sharing yourself. I see all the young women in the cancer center who are going through treatment. Lord, let them live to know their children as adults on this earth. What a great treasure.
So, my second round of chemo was much better than my first and my third hasn’t effected me yet (which is later than last time). I didn’t go to the hospital. No skin peeling, no fever. I thought I did great because I “handled” the other side effects by putting up with them. However, when we met with oncologist she said I was at risk for taking another break from chemo or decreasing the dose again because of my side effects. Wow! Apparently, I need to be aggressive and try to rid myself as much as possible of any side effects. Holy endurance wasn’t going to get the award. Now, that sounds silly, who wouldn’t be trying to get things working better. But here’s a few secrets about myself:
- I delivered my first two children without any pain medication because I wanted to experience what it was really like in its essence.
- When I had three toddlers around me while making dinner in the kitchen one day a few years later, Walt came home to find me hanging over the counter massaging my temples. Walt: “What’s wrong?” Me: “I have such a headache!” Walt: “What did you take for it?” Me: “Hmm”. Never thought of it.
- Even when my hair starting graying I didn’t use any color because I didn’t want to block the natural course of history.
So that’s my nature and in this case of combating cancer treatment it needs to change. Your prayer is needed here (hit “like”). I will pull up the list. I will see your names. I will recognize that Christ is in you. Yes, Christ in you bringing with him the hope of all the glorious things to come!” (Col. 1:25-27) Do you understand? Do you understand the power in unity? In my weakness I will be made strong in Christ! (2 Cor 12:10) I was never meant to do this alone! Even Jesus didn’t live his passion alone! I need you! I need Christ who is in you! You are my hope of glory because Christ is in you and he lives and heals! Walt has promised to be my coach. If you’ve had him as your 7th grade basketball coach, you’ll probably say an extra prayer for me now! Thank you! I want to do what I can to cooperate with my medical team!
Our community, the People of Praise, has a division of missionaries. A few years back, in the lowliest of nursing homes, one of our missionaries met an old woman who taught us a new verse to an old Christian hymn. It came to me the day I found out I had cancer and it soothes me now as I’m a little further along in the journey. Sing this to Amazing Grace:
Must Jesus bear his cross alone,
While all the rest go free?
No, there’s a cross for everyone
And there’s a cross for me!
On a funnier note, as I tried to follow the oncologist’s encouragement, I took an Ativan last night and had to be awoken twice because I was snoring during a movie that I chose but never got to see more than 20 minutes of! I did, however, sleep for the first time through the night since November 26th and I do feel stronger today for that. So I’m initiating and learning but will adjust that dose tonight!
Before I sign off I want to honor two more people. My Mom carries my burden in a way only a mom can. I know what it’s like to be a mom of a child with an illness. I wish I could take her worries away, but all I can do is pray and envision her wrapped up in the arms of our heavenly Father. His are big arms. I hope she feels them.
And thanks to Walt. He’s doing 90% of the cooking, 75% of the cleaning, and 100% of the errands (I can’t drive due to the side effects on my vision). He shows no sign of burnout. He has been, as always, the perfect companion for me.
I gotta run now and start focusing on the plan. You know, I have pills, extra meals, Yoga, walking, and resting to plan and execute! This isn’t all about laying around enduring you know! To God be the Glory!