2/3 Done and Ready for Triple Dose

I’m writing now at 2am before I go in for the infusion so I won’t be side tracked from my duty of numbing myself before leaving for my appointment. I don’t want to be a slow learner and make the same mistake twice. I’m awake anyway, so it’s nice to do something. So, I had a bad night as I wrote last week. Then I slept awhile and awoke with a bounce in my step and no symptoms at all of being a cancer patient. That’s right. Zero side effects. Energy booming. It lasted for 18 hours. I was beside myself with joy. I exercised, Walt and I went out to lunch and I attended the campus team meeting with the ability to lean in to conversations instead of thinking the whole time, “Maybe I should just excuse myself and go to bed?” I tell you there is nothing in this world like feeling good and being healthy. And then I thought, could I be a quick learner in this area? When I’m done with treatment – healed of cancer – could I remember everyday when I wake up and feel good that it is a special gift? I want to start each day with, “Thank you Lord!” and then consider how I can use my time that day to make the world more the place God always meant it to be. There must be a grace for this and I want it. I never want to go back to the way I was. You’d think we deserved a healthy life as if we didn’t notice the human condition. Well, wake up and smell the coffee people!

The symptoms came back Thursday night, but the joy of having a reprieve lasted quite a bit longer. Then my sister Laurie arrived for the weekend. She’s become so dear to me this year. She visits often and distracts me so well. We walked through the Catholic bookstore and then Carson’s, the local department store. When checking out, the cashier told us about her and her husband’s 10 years of being cancer free. She was treated at the same place I’m being treated. This “club” I’ve joined is full of wonderful people who want to encourage you. I love it. Yes. I just said I love being in a cancer club. But, do you know what I mean? Without the cancer, I never would have known such people and such interactions were taking place.  I’m telling you, there is so much good in the world.

When Laurie went back home the start of the week went fast. On Monday, my hat-hair arrived. This is hair that is on a line of Velcro. It came with a headband that also has Velcro. I can wear it under any hat. Today I picked up my wig. The wig has a name (they all do it turns out). Mine is Barbie. Cute, right? So now I have scarves, turbins, hats, hats with hair, and a wig. Who needs hair anyway? I feel more creative with a head to dress everyday!

I am getting a drug reintroduced later today that I had with my first infusion that didn’t go so well. The doctor is thinking this drug is not the one I reacted negatively to. Let’s hope (and pray) she is right.  I am officially 2/3 of the way done with my chemo treatment and the surgeon and radiologist are setting up appointments to get the operation and radiation going. Come on folks. Let me enjoy the end of one phase, please? I don’t want to think about surgery and radiation quite yet! But time marches on. Today I’ll have three drugs: Taxol, Herceptin, and Perjeta. May they do what they were meant to do and not land me back in the hospital. Amen.

I want to end with a note of gratitude. This is a poem given to me by my sister-in-law, Gina. Gina’s a sweetheart. I thought I was Queen of Efficiency until Gina joined our family. She never forgets your birthday and gets her Christmas cards done by Thanksgiving. I think I’ve even received my Christmas card on Black Friday. It was not surprising, then, when hers was the first gift I received after my diagnosis. It was a wonderful box of necessities for chemo patients (like blanket, water bottle, and chap stick) and it came with this magnet. I have it on the refrigerator right over the water spout so I can read it often. Thanks Gina! I can tell you all now first hand: THESE WORDS ARE TRUE!

What Cancer Cannot Take From You

It cannot take away your faith,

Shatter your hope, or lessen your love.

It cannot destroy true friendship,

Invade the soul, or take away eternal life.

It cannot conquer your spirit.

So what’s the big threat anyway? Have a great week my loved ones. Thanks for walking through this with me.  By the way, grandchildren Darla and Mary are better. Ah, the blessings of a youthful body.