Well, Advent is almost over. Are we ready for the
coming of Christ? I’m not even ready to attack my email inbox or start writing
thank you notes for the wonderful expressions of love that have found their way
to me from all over the world. And there’s another dose of chemo with my name
on it for Christmas Eve. But, I have an amazing life. The request for prayers
has gone farther than my own personal life – which is a lot bigger than I ever
thought it could be thanks to knowing
Jesus Christ!
But what’s the question? Am I ready to open my heart
to know and love Jesus in a new way from last year? That’s what a real merry
Christmas is, right? Has it ever been a bad decision? Never! So, yes, I’m
ready. It looks very different this year, but I’m ready.
I read Katie’s post (wow, what an honor to be her
mom!) and I thought she might have been reading my mind. I truly had to work at
saying yes to this very aggressive treatment I’m doing. I’ve always said – to
many a friends’ discomfort (you know who you are) that I’m ready to go whenever
the Lord wants me and I’m eager to see Jesus face to face. I thought about refusing chemo for
maybe a day. Then I realized I was being given a new opportunity to respect
life. Wasn’t it Pope Frances who just this fall said that respecting life was
more than a fight against abortion? (Rhetorical question here. It was he.) So
how can I show the Lord my gratitude for this precious gift of life I’ve been
given? Well, I’ll fight for it, that’s what! I’ll accept the fact that God will
bring me “home” whenever he wants, but until then, I will be grateful for each
day I’m given. Of course, I want to go to the family weddings (hope you’re
praying Scott and Chelsea!), grandchildren’s sacraments, graduations, and
everything I can get to!
So how will I learn to know and love Jesus more this
year during chemo, surgery, and radiation? Well, I’m not sure exactly. Last
week in the hospital I was having some really “hard” times (that’s cancer lingo
I’ve heard used for hurting like h_ _ _ in the midst of extreme exhaustion.) I’ll
try not to mention that again. But in a bleak moment I remembered a sister in
community, Donna, telling me how remarkable it was to her that during Christ’s
passion he never once stopped focusing on others. Even from the cross, he took care of his mother by putting
her in John’s care. He was on the cross! Wow. So I decided to have an outward
conversation with my night nurse. Just chat to get my mind off myself. What a
beautiful exchange we had as she told me her life’s story and how she wanted
more but hadn’t a lot of faith. I ended up praying with this woman for more of
the Holy Spirit. Now that was a lesson well learned. And if I can learn more
about how Jesus suffered well, I’ll be glad for the opportunity. Because
something about Jesus is: the more you know about him, the more you love him.
Merry
Christmas! I offer whatever I go through this next round for my children and
grandchildren (same as round #1) and for the healing of our dear friend
Geriann. She taught me how to be strong way before I needed to be strong. I
love you all. Thanks for everything and I’m counting on your prayers! Blessing
of the weekend: I got to see the Kadeli’s from NOVA. Thank you Jesus!
Congratulations to Gjon Kadeli who graduates from Purdue tomorrow. You will be
missed by us!
Praying you a Christmas filled with hope, peace, healing, and joy!
ReplyDeleteKathryn Kelly
You are learning Advent waiting in an agonizingly personal way. Much love and prayers. Dorothy Ranaghan
ReplyDeleteHow good it is to hear of your journey Pam! Very inspiring! God is good, even in our suffering... keep up the great attitude and know you are in my heart and prayers. Merry Christmas sister. xo Piper
ReplyDeleteThe world today does not understand the value of redemptive suffering. We've been talking alot about that in bible study this past fall. The sad woman who felt it would be better to end her life than to gain the joy of Christ's love. We had a woman come to post who is in the late stages of cancer. She has at least a few kids...and she spoke on this topic, and the value of the life God gives us. So, we must never forget the good God can do through our suffering.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas, Mom.